After a long bout with my brother's PS2 this holiday vacation. I realized that I forgot to write in the blog! ~_~.
And after a fashion, I would like to make my top seven year end lamentations
1. The people I want to get close with starts to drift off. I really don't know how this phenomena occurs, it just happens. All the people I want to be with or talk with starts to, well disappear? I don;t know if it is the right term but either way it just happens. In Example, an exam buddy I have which I started to be chummy with suddenly slowly closed all communications. Next, a nice friend from another course started to act the same. So I ask, HOW IN THE BIG WIDE WORLD, COULD THIS BE HAPPENING TO ME? The only guesses that I could come up with: 1.) Somebody's giving them death threats (impossible). 2.) I'm just not their type that they could get along (maybe or maybe not). 3.) I'm an asshole (which I'm not). 4.)They want to screw my life so bad that they give me a hell of a time (?). Anyways that sums it up. Sounds like Evangelion right? But Shinji's problem applies to both sexes right?
2. The first love in high school is really starting look the woman of my dreams, and she doesn't like me. After the unusual side trip I took surfing the net, the first love that I saw in high school is slowly turning into that. The catch? She doesn't want me or to be very pessimistic about it: SHE HATES ME. Funny, I suddenly wished that I haven't gone to my University and choose hers instead. I passed both anyways but, sigh, I can't do that or turn back time (time space warp nagyon din!). And a mental note to myself, "IF I did go to her school, would she be the one I could call my own?" Well lots of lost possibilities with no real probability of occurring. And slowly I starting to get crazy over her. What a stupid thought.
3. I'm starting to get fat. I hate that notion, that one time in the future that I will turn into a very round person (morphologically speaking). Even though I have the extra time, do the same exercises all over again and again, I'm getting fat. I asked myself is the workload suddenly shifted or my hormones that govern the usage and metabolism of fats are getting less and less by the minute (study physiology and you'll get what I'm saying). Sad sad year.
4. I'm slowly turning into a true blue insomiac. It all started with the all nighters which slowly become 48 hour days which later turned into 72 waking hours with just little catnaps of 3 times of 30 minutes a day. And lately I wake in the wee hours in the morning, looking at the ceiling and mumbling to myself, "I can't sleep."
5. Stress and Pressure Drives me. After a year of working my ass off till it sags, I realized that I can't feel alive if I'm not doing anything. Even if I portray the usual slacker this semester, I really don't feel comfortable. I don't feel relaxed lying all day and thinking of things, I need to go off and work. I don't know if this a good or bad thing but either way it may drive me nuts one these days.
6. I'm sometimes short on cash (which is very often). With med school nearing my life and living, I'm starting to save up some cash before I graduate to reward myself with my own laptop. But since I'm an upperclassman, the projects, the research works, and printing costs are eating my savings and I can't somehow put a plug into it, to stop the release of money from my wallet. T-T.
7. I'm missing taekwondo. The only sport that drove me to my best and my limits is calling me again though I know in myself, my body won't hold out for long since it is the one that broke it in the first place. During my high school years, I entered myself into a taekwondo class and I enjoyed it. I slowly worked my way up and improve as one could improve in 10 months, then my body broke. I acquired a lumbo-sacral strain which later showed in the X-rays, was developing into a classic case of a slipped disc, in which the disc between my spine is already starting to inflame and irritate the nerves in the area namely the sciatic nerve which made my life difficult in the next six months due to physical therapy sessions which I didn't like that much since it took me away from my sport and active living. Sigh~
Anyways that sums up my lamentations from last year which is still, I believe, will haunt me this year. Though I still believe, "Everything will be alright". Hahaha.
And after a fashion, I would like to make my top seven year end lamentations
1. The people I want to get close with starts to drift off. I really don't know how this phenomena occurs, it just happens. All the people I want to be with or talk with starts to, well disappear? I don;t know if it is the right term but either way it just happens. In Example, an exam buddy I have which I started to be chummy with suddenly slowly closed all communications. Next, a nice friend from another course started to act the same. So I ask, HOW IN THE BIG WIDE WORLD, COULD THIS BE HAPPENING TO ME? The only guesses that I could come up with: 1.) Somebody's giving them death threats (impossible). 2.) I'm just not their type that they could get along (maybe or maybe not). 3.) I'm an asshole (which I'm not). 4.)They want to screw my life so bad that they give me a hell of a time (?). Anyways that sums it up. Sounds like Evangelion right? But Shinji's problem applies to both sexes right?
2. The first love in high school is really starting look the woman of my dreams, and she doesn't like me. After the unusual side trip I took surfing the net, the first love that I saw in high school is slowly turning into that. The catch? She doesn't want me or to be very pessimistic about it: SHE HATES ME. Funny, I suddenly wished that I haven't gone to my University and choose hers instead. I passed both anyways but, sigh, I can't do that or turn back time (time space warp nagyon din!). And a mental note to myself, "IF I did go to her school, would she be the one I could call my own?" Well lots of lost possibilities with no real probability of occurring. And slowly I starting to get crazy over her. What a stupid thought.
3. I'm starting to get fat. I hate that notion, that one time in the future that I will turn into a very round person (morphologically speaking). Even though I have the extra time, do the same exercises all over again and again, I'm getting fat. I asked myself is the workload suddenly shifted or my hormones that govern the usage and metabolism of fats are getting less and less by the minute (study physiology and you'll get what I'm saying). Sad sad year.
4. I'm slowly turning into a true blue insomiac. It all started with the all nighters which slowly become 48 hour days which later turned into 72 waking hours with just little catnaps of 3 times of 30 minutes a day. And lately I wake in the wee hours in the morning, looking at the ceiling and mumbling to myself, "I can't sleep."
5. Stress and Pressure Drives me. After a year of working my ass off till it sags, I realized that I can't feel alive if I'm not doing anything. Even if I portray the usual slacker this semester, I really don't feel comfortable. I don't feel relaxed lying all day and thinking of things, I need to go off and work. I don't know if this a good or bad thing but either way it may drive me nuts one these days.
6. I'm sometimes short on cash (which is very often). With med school nearing my life and living, I'm starting to save up some cash before I graduate to reward myself with my own laptop. But since I'm an upperclassman, the projects, the research works, and printing costs are eating my savings and I can't somehow put a plug into it, to stop the release of money from my wallet. T-T.
7. I'm missing taekwondo. The only sport that drove me to my best and my limits is calling me again though I know in myself, my body won't hold out for long since it is the one that broke it in the first place. During my high school years, I entered myself into a taekwondo class and I enjoyed it. I slowly worked my way up and improve as one could improve in 10 months, then my body broke. I acquired a lumbo-sacral strain which later showed in the X-rays, was developing into a classic case of a slipped disc, in which the disc between my spine is already starting to inflame and irritate the nerves in the area namely the sciatic nerve which made my life difficult in the next six months due to physical therapy sessions which I didn't like that much since it took me away from my sport and active living. Sigh~
Anyways that sums up my lamentations from last year which is still, I believe, will haunt me this year. Though I still believe, "Everything will be alright". Hahaha.
~~~~~~~~
Off topic P.S.: A nice post from a blog that I read:
"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never
stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to
understand that,or even believe it, but trust me,there are some love
that don't go away.And maybe that makes them crazy,but we should all
be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that
insanity. Somebody who never lets go.Somebody who cherishes you forever."
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