Due to God's gift of giving me the extra thought processing power, it gives me time to think things while I'm doing other things, just like multi-tasking. Though in reality I really find this annoying since I could think of those many possible scenarios of what could and would possibly happen while I'm doing things. And if I'm not doing things, it lets me reflect on the things that I've done in the past weeks assessing myself if I was wrong or not. And by God it pisses me off when I start doing that because it reminds me of all the piss offs during the week on how people or me should or would have done things.
As I dragged my feet on this matter, which really made no progress at all since I was busy thinking things over and over again, I forgot what really matters the most: living my life, without giving a rat's ass about what people thinks of me and do things with the tenacity of doing it again and again and again so that I would have no regrets over it in the next or so weekends. I realized that I am a bit competitive of some things and it actually pisses people off sometimes, though that competitiveness is brought about by what the professors think me and how would it reflect my status. And after a drinking bout with my friends which made me wasted for the next couple of hours, it struck me, I've been competitive over the wrong reasons and its grabbing my ass. So by this sem, I just hope that self revelation, I could progress on my dream and not bitch on the past that's already been done but rather bitch on the things that I'm currently doing. So by the end of the day, it just boils down if I have that stubbornness and perseverance to do the right things that I should be doing, making use of the time given to me so that I could at least move forward, even a tiny bit.
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