Day 1/1096

Wishing peace amidst the worries of the world.

How would I start writing again?
Its been a year of numerous downs and an up but definitely its the end of a year and a beginning of a new one.
I realized so many things because of the down slopes of life. First of all, 2 things are really consistent, I hate to quote that movie Meet Joe Black but as he puts it "Death and Taxes" its consistent and keeps on pestering us on a daily basis. It also doesn't help that our own BIR commissioner is hell bent on making us physicians villanized as tax evaders. Sadly hearing some truths in that department I would beg to differ. But still death and taxes.
Second on being denied a visa, well I tried twice and really wanted to go. I just pray that it only mean 1)its not time yet, 2) it will cause mr great sadness so don't (its bad for me) or 3) there is something better. Just wait. So I just leave to the almighty which of the 3.
For the third learning, sometimes its not only the book smart or you clinical smarts, it has to be both. And you don't have to leave you're humanity for both. Help a friend it goes a long way.
Fourth thing I realized, that I will never be a surgeon, sad to say the blog was supposedly like that but No IM is going to be my life so let it.

and as a finale

""Sometimes in darkest times, in the coldest nights. All we need is to light a fire in out own dark corner. Sooner we would see that the corner light is now a blazing star. "

new year

took the path less taken
walked with what deemed friends, later forsaken
and for months, nearly broken
But still, with dawn hope still awaken

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A new year to all

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Countdown till Residency day 1: 01.01.13

At malapit na..

It's nearing day 1 and for all that matters, I'm more numbed than excited or worried or anxious. I really don't know if its my reflex that work became my safe haven or that I'm really looking forward avoiding my other problems. I know it will be work, day in and day out with my new bloc mates and I will encounter more cases that might need compassion in terms of kindness and charity.

Well whatever the case, tomorrow will be one of those days that will mark the end of my mini vacation or the start of my so called heaven.

Time to kick ass and chew bubble gum as they say....

In this unlit halls, 

and dim walls,

I walk

I walk for compassion and learning

And so that light might pass on...

So here I start day 0.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS It was a nice dinner. I hope to see them more often. :)

This is!

Completely outrageous!

I was shuffling along Yahoo news when I read this:


http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/stuart-chaifetz-secretly-tapes-autistic-son-school-discovers-220500111.html

This was the first time I heard that a "teacher" was bullying an autistic child, which I find distasteful and cruel, better yet, inhumane. And the thoughts suddenly ran in my head that what if "If they can do that to autistic children, that means they can do that to the younger more innocent children?".

I find this act really distasteful. I hope that those people involved in this inappropriate and unprofessional behavior be given sanctions, especially the teacher.

Ang pasko ay para sa bata

Christmas is for kids as one old saying goes, but rather I think Christmas is for those who still believe and have faith. Majority of the children are still innocent and pure, still believing that hope is abundant and that Christmas is the time for joy and gifts. With Santa Clause giving them wonders and happiness in the forms of toys and trinkets. But how does Christmas look in the eyes of the street children where food and survival is their daily issue?
Frankly I don't know, since children are malleable of sorts, some would continue to hope and others would become jaded as their parents.

But for those who already grew up....

Christmas is for those who still believe I guess, and those who have faith in their fellow men. Sadly as we grow older these things fade, or left beneath what we deem as important, like money, material resources and what nots. Sad but true, but often these things that we set as priorities are the necessities that we need/want for what we see as essential to have a comfortable life. Some rich individuals still believe since these wants/needs are already fulfilled though some of them forget, that they can look for these since they already have the resources. Sadly some of them do forget and blame those of the lower statuses of being calloused, but I ask, if they already have food in their stomachs would they be so calloused?

Still, I don't know, for we are human, and our reactions are often our own and not what we usually expect.

And for me?

Maybe I still believe that there is still hope. Working inside a hospital made me realize that there are still few willing to help even with meager resources, even with little compensation and often none at all. And maybe there is a Christmas for all, after these trying times.

Walking

So as he tries to drown his sorrow with romantic films and sweet promises of love everlasting, his consciousness spoke to him.

"When will you wake o' deadman walking?
When will you walk again and pretend that everything is dead and for the crow's taking?
When will you take a bite from the flesh that was quivering?"

Still the man, kept on looking through the glass screen of moving pictures and allusions of happiness that was supposedly there for the taking. His consciousness spoke to him again:

"O' deadman walking, when will you see that humanity has forsaken you;
That what was yours was taken?
That your sins not forgiven?
When will you realize o' deadman walking that only in death your purposed was quickened?

Still the man, gazed, with tears flowing in his eyes, his hand slowly rises to his chest and then he answered.

"I often thought of myself as a deadman walking
Till I realized that pain was there as my heart was beating
And for the time that there was only crying
I found myself lost and longing

Maybe I AM a deadman walking, long forsaken
But still with this world I could not leave those who were broken
For those who are left as rag dolls know the feeling of loneliness
And often they are the ones capable of kindness

And so his consciousness left him in his wanton sorrow, knowing that somehow, this man is not a deadman walking.